Nothing Is Lost
by derivereine
Summary: How long could she stay hidden before it all got too much for her? To see them live without her. Drew/OC/Sheamus and others
1. Chapter 1

**Right, hello. I haven't done this in a while…if any of you are still following me from my foray into Twific, please get rid of me because this account is only going to be a wrestling fic one now. **

**Twitter in the story because a lot of wrestlers now use Twitter. I'd never give my character a Twitter though, jfc the people who do that scare me. So far as I know WWEDivaTiffany IS the real Taryn Terrell, but none of the other 's in this chapter are legitimate accounts, so don't go tweeting to them! SOS= Sheamus, Cadon= OC, DMcI= obvious name is obvious. never allows at symbols, so _ takes its place.**

**Anyway. Enjoy. The 'Ste' is Sheamus, which I hate the spelling of and wish they'd change it, and Kat is Katie Lea...everybody else's "real" names are obvious, I hope.**

**Charlie.**

* * *

_"I'm coming home..."_

_April, 2010._

**WWEDivaTiffany: **Excited to see Scotland w/ my honey!

I read the tweet from my Blackberry with a snort of derision. This was Drew's most recent vapid little plaything; blonde American girls had seemingly taken a liking to him in the years he had been living there. I wonder if she'll be as excited when she realises that I'll be around?

Currently, I sat in Germany with a few of my good friends from the indie wrestling promotion I worked for. It was pleasant, although the trip to Amsterdam that the guys were planning sounded a little like a stoner's idea of a James Bond film. As they excitedly made their plans, I leant over to them with a smile.

"You do realise that Amsterdam isn't in Germany, right?"

Sam looked at me with a frown, "It isn't?"

"It's in the Netherlands."

"Well that's just over the border," Sam defended, "We could easily drive there!"

I laughed, "Sam, we're in Munich. The Netherlands borders on the upper left hand corner of Germany, not the lower right."

Nick got up to leave the room, "Thanks for the impromptu geography lesson, Ms Islay."

"No problem Nick," I rolled my eyes, "You have trouble telling your arse from your elbow anyway."

* * *

**SOS: **Actually cannot wait to be back home. People not places, remember?

**DMcI: **O you'll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road…

I smiled as I read the two tweets from Ste and Drew. I couldn't resist tweeting back, just to see his reaction.

**Cadon _DMcI: **And I'll be in Scotland afore ye…

I tapped my fingers on the coffee table in front of me, arranging my tickets and passport for the upcoming trip back to London, waiting for when, if ever, the reply tweet materialised.

**DMcI**: Christ, talk about a blast from the past… _**SOS **did you see that?

**SOS _DMcI: **When did you turn into such an arse? Oh, I remember…

**SOS _Cadon: **Ignore him, the vegan is crying about cows or something and you know what he's like. Two days, Cad! Meet us in LDN on the 8th.

**Cadon _SOS: **I will do, I'll be flying from Germany so idk when I land. Meet in baggage, ironic ;) ALSO ALSO…IT'S NOT UNUSUALLLL!

I missed my boys.

* * *

One of the things I love about my "real" job, as my Mother would say, is having enough money to fly business and first class. Personally, the flight would've been fine in economy, but I wanted the arrival lounge so then a) I would look pretty upon seeing Drew for the first time in two years and b)…there is no b.

I hovered at baggage reclaim, post spa treatments, waiting for them to pile through from immigration. Fans were through in the arrivals area, but security didn't seem to mind me standing waiting here. The moment soon came; a mass of people descended upon the previously empty room. My eyes soon found who I wanted.

**Cadon: **I've waited for this for too long. Sayonara.

I weaved my way through the crowd quickly; contact sports had taught me well.

"Grà." I stood behind him and spoke quietly, "I missed you."

He turned around quickly, "I thought you'd be out there!" he gestured to where the fans were waiting.

"Oh, thanks." I said, shooting him a wry smile, "Can I have you for a minute please?"

"Not until we know who you are you can't!" Jericho. He sounds tired…or like he's waiting for me to go insane and hit him like the woman on that video.

Ste smiled, "She's Cadence Islay, better known to the wrestling world as Cadence O'Neill."

"We tried to sign you." Paul juts in from my left, "Why'd you turn us down?"

I thought about my answer for a few moments, "Long story."

Ste eyes me for a moment, "Something like that, anyway. Can we go to Casa Islay please?"

"Of course!" the thought of Ste in my new place brightened me up immeasurably, "How many of you are coming? I'm not too far out from your hotel, so if Kat goes with you to it, then brings you back to my place, we should be sorted."

A quick headcount by Ste told me there'd be around fifteen people in my loft by the time people had gone to the hotel and back. This, I soon realised, included Drew and the vapid whore.

* * *

"You've moved up in life I see," Ste laughed as he and I walked into the loft alone, "How did you get it?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I said by working hard, would you?"

"Absolutely not."

I rolled my eyes with a laugh, "I worked hard." I frowned and held up my finger to stop Ste talking, "Somebody is coming."

"Hey, I came a bit earlier than everybody else, I hope you don't mind?"

Closing my eyes quickly, I focused on not throwing up, "I don't mind, no." I stepped out from behind Ste smoothly.

"Oh what the fuck Ste?! Come on."

"You always were shit in confrontations, Drew."

"You can't judge me on this, Cadence. The rest of the group are about to come up, including Taryn-"

"She's not coming in here." I interjected, anger surging through me.

He flashed me a warning look and Ste held onto my arm surreptitiously, "I don't want everybody seeing this happen, Cadence. No way."

"Seeing what?! Me? Us?"

He shook his head, "There is no us."

I laughed, "So you told me, repeatedly. Why are you here? You knew it was me, come on Drew, you're not stupid. Who else would live in London, a woman who Ste knew instantly? Like hell you didn't know where you were coming."

"Uh, I hate to butt in here, but we can all hear you." Paul stood in the doorway to my loft, "Who are you Cadence? To Drew?"

I raised my eyebrows, somewhat surprised by the question, "I'm his…something. Ex girlfriend, doesn't seem quite right, so I'm his…once everything, now something and soon nothing."


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah, I'm writing again. It's quite amusing actually, to know I've been gone for so long that there's a new crop of idiots who now think they rule over this section. A word of warning to you; it never, ever, works out in the end. One of you will push all the others away and go and bawwww to the rest of the world about it.**

**Anyway, the chapters will vary between POVs; this is in Drew's.**

**I enjoy reading through lyrics and listening to hours of music whilst writing, and I get so much inspiration from them, so feel free to try and jump ahead on the plot…**

**Dedicated to those who stick by each other when they're puking and taking drugs, who tweet like hell into the early hours of the morning for their Toxic Twin. Love love love.**

* * *

"_Am I weak if I leave it as it stands?"_

I looked at Paul and said nothing, waiting for somebody else to speak. I am utterly useless in confrontations.

"Which of you is Taryn?" Cadence strode to the doorway and surveyed the women waiting there. Taryn attempted to step inside the loft; Cadence's arm stopped her, "That's all I needed to know. Go away."

"Cad…" Ste decided to help the situation. He knows Cadence better than me these days anyway. "Don't you think you should try to get to know her?"

I watched as Cadence ran all the possible outcomes of getting to know Taryn through her brain, watched as her lips pursed and her eyes became steely, "I have no desire to know her."

Paul frowned, "Why are you talking like that? Did you swallow a dictionary or is Drew's load full of vocabulary?"

Cadence laughed, "Come in, please. Apart from you Taryn, I wasn't joking. You can leave," she indicated towards me, "And take him with you."

Everybody piled through the door and started to make themselves comfortable in the lounge. Taryn eyed me from her place outside the front door, "Come on, Drew. Now."

"You better leave before I start singing Tom Jones," Cadence rounded on me, "I'm in one of those moods. Typically, I'd let you stay and just force her to leave, but since you're so set on me being nothing to you…"

"You're not nothing to me…" I spoke quietly, pulling her to one side and motioning to Taryn that I'd be a minute, "Caddy. Please, can we just…be?"

She rolled her eyes, "You never have known what to say."

I sighed in desperation, "I'm trying here. You were a huge part of my life."

"Are."

"What?"

"You said I was a huge part of your life. You should've said I am if you want me back in it." she cocked her left eyebrow at me, "Or do you not want me back in your life?"

"Cadence, will you stop being so fucking picky?"

"Drew, will you stop swearing at me?" she countered. The beautiful eyes I was used to looking into were shining with some form of amusement…although I've often before mistaken her mood and made her cry far too many times. "I'm joking, love. Spit out what the fuck you want to say."

I stumbled around in my head for a few more moments, pulling together sentences that succinctly said what I had been trying to for over a year. Taryn chose that moment to screech for me from the doorway. I looked back to Cadence and closed my eyes in annoyance. The front was back, and I knew exactly what she was going to do.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me to the door, singing under her breath as she did so, "Dum da dum, dum da dum…it's not unusual to have fun with anyone…" she looked up at me, "Take her and fuck off or I'll get louder."

* * *

I sat quietly on the hotel bed as Taryn continued to pick at Cadence. She'd been doing this for two hours already, only shutting up in the shower which I'd abstained from joining her in. if I was a good man, I'd defend Cadence. After everything that has happened over the course of my adult life with her, I'm slightly reluctant to jump to her defence against the woman I'll probably end up marrying. I love Taryn. A lot. I thought, quite foolishly, that I loved her more than Cadence and this illusion was easy to maintain until I looked at her again, until I spoke to her again.

My phone chirped from next to me. Taryn didn't pause her tirade even to ask who had text me; she was on some kind of roll about Cadence's hair. I didn't have the heart to tell her the blonde was from the bottle of nature.

**Ste (17:53): Caddy and Kat are getting ready to come to the hotel now. She asked me if you really love Taryn, and I didn't have it in me to lie to her. She's somewhere in between fucked up and furious. Depends how much she drinks as to which you're going to deal with; she's on black label now. This is going to be such a fucking mess, christ…**

I winced as I read and reread the text, being interrupted by another. I'd opened it before I realised who it was from.

**Cadence (18:04): You're like a sailor with a girl on every shore, stay with them now for they won't see you anymore. Care to finish my song? **

The thing with Cadence fucking Islay is that she is so far under my skin she _is _the buttons that she presses.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't have much to say this chapter, aside from thank you for reviewing! I love you all. It's weird getting back into the swing of things…**

**This is in Cadence's POV.**

**As always, for my Toxic Twin, my Slut Sharks and my true friend.**

* * *

"_Now I'm here, I think I'll stay around."_

The night worked out fine in the end. Taryn and Drew were noticeably absent from the party, as I had expected, and I networked my way around the room until I wound up at the table of Vince McMahon himself. Ste was already there, with Paul and Shawn, a glass of whiskey resting in front of him.

"Hands." he looked at me with a half smile on his face. I showed him the back of my hands with a small laugh; he was checking for damage.

"They're not here, Ste."

He nodded and released my hands, "Oh I know. I just figured you'd go looking."

I snorted and said nothing as he moved up so I could sit next to him. I eyed the men at the table and turned to Ste, "Aren't you going to introduce me to the two men I haven't met yet?"

"Vince, Shawn, this is Cadence. Stephanie had contact with her a few years ago, around the same time you signed myself and Drew."

"Nice to meet you, Cadence." Shawn smiled politely. I said a silent prayer of thanks to the wrestling gods that it wasn't the 90s.

Vince looked at me, "Why did you reject our contract?"

"How much time have you got?" I laughed quietly, "I can explain in some detail quite quickly."

"Go ahead." he picked up the drink in front of him and took a long draw from it. I looked at Ste for reassurance and he nodded in the affirmative.

"Well…I knew it was the wrong move for me at the time. I had another year of university to do, and I didn't believe that at that time I would be right for the company," I took a deep breath, "The end of my relationship with Drew was probably the real reason though. That's in the past now, of course, but then it was too…raw for me to even consider moving with him."

"That would have kept you together though, wouldn't it?" Paul asked, leaning further back into the seat.

"Not in the long term sense, no. Something had to give in the situation and it was me. It was his dream, his new life and I couldn't be a part of it. I saw it as a fresh start for him; he was so disillusioned with everything at that time that I felt selfish keeping him behind. Had I accepted and gone with him, when he was in FCW we undoubtedly would have split up anyway, and that I saw to be a thousand times worse than me remaining in the UK."

"That's devotion if I've ever heard it." Vince interjects, "Where does Stephen fit into this?"

I smiled to myself at the 'Stephen', "He fits in as our mutual best friend. I met Ste through Drew at a show in late 2005, where they beat the ever living shit out of each other. It was quite the first impression, I must confess." I laughed, "We moved in together in London about three months later; Drew and I had been together nearly two years at this point. Long story short…through a lot of late nights, we became best friends and when Drew left, Ste stayed an extra four months to make sure I wasn't going to die. That's what I call devotion."

* * *

The next couple of days flew by and on the night of the show in London I worked a dark match against Kat. The loft in London was quickly emptied of my clothing but the furniture remained. I was due to be in Tampa by the end of the week, and had managed to buy a decent place to live. My 'real' job, however, had yet to be dealt with. A few emails to my employer should have sorted it, but I was too excited to even bother with my old life.

I smiled to myself as I perused my favourite wrestling dirt sheet and saw that they had a news item on a new signing.

**WWE Signs A New Diva  
**WWE have signed Cadence O'Neill after her dark match against Katie Lea on Monday night won favourable reviews from those backstage as well as wrestling websites based on fans descriptions. It is unknown if she will go via FCW or if she will debut straight onto a show. Cadence has worked the European indies since 2005 and is the ex girlfriend of Smackdown superstar Drew McIntyre. O'Neill is also close to Sheamus O'Shaunessy and Katie Lea.

I read over the article with a sense of satisfaction, and quickly opened up twitter to type out Bowie lyrics I knew Drew would read.

**Cadon:** "When I live my dream, I'll forget the hurt you gave." It's dream time...but have I forgiven you?


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello babies. Please to be reviewing, they make me smile. Thank you for doing so previously, even if ff doesn't like to send me them!**

**Happy birthday Ste. Thank you for being gorgeous enough for me to write you as Cadence's rock. **

**Muchos love.**

**

* * *

"_There they go, funny how they look so good together."_**

**Cadon: **Moving into my condo today! Your architecture is SO APPALLING in this country, good Lord I felt like I was looking at council bungalows!

"Will you put that fucking thing down, Cad, and come and move some of your shit?!" Ste yelled at me from my new front door. He disappeared back out to the end of the hallway where the guys I'd hired were moving my belongings to.

Ste had given me a week to find a place and buy furniture for it. He was rather dubious as to how I'd managed to afford the place that I had chosen and bought, but he remained quiet on it. He had said that I could have stayed at his, but that his housemates probably wouldn't have been to fond of the idea. I'd kept quiet on that.

"Ste!" I ran to the door and yelled back down the hallway, "Tell them to be careful with my table!"

I got flipped off in return.

* * *

"I must say, Caddy, you know how to decorate a place." Ste sank further into my sofa, rubbing his face tiredly, "I feel like I've gone an hour with Paul, Christ alive."

I laughed at him and snuggled further into him, "Thank you for agreeing to help me put everything together. I can't wallpaper or move furniture to save my life."

"It'd be easier with a few more pairs of hands." he noted, "I uh, I asked Drew if he'd help."

I looked up at him, eyebrows arched, "You did?"

"Yeah. He said that he couldn't."

"Morally, physically or pussy whipped-lly?"

Ste snorted, "The latter."

"Mmm," I nodded, "I see how it is. Ste, you know we do this thing where we keep quiet about what's bothering us about each other?"

"I invented it." he looks down at me with a smile, "But yeah, I do."

"Who…" I faltered, biting my lip, "Ste, who do you live with?"

He closed his eyes, "I was scared you were going to ask me that."

The possible answers raced through my mind until I determined the only probable one. "You live with Drew and Taryn, don't you?"

He nodded, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"I understand why you wouldn't want to tell me that you betrayed me just as well as he did." My voice was quiet. I didn't want this to be true. Not Ste as well as Drew. "Ste…she's me, isn't she? She's filled the hole that I was forced to make."

"Cadence, no. Not to me." Ste said, "To Drew, yeah, she's on her way to becoming you. But never, ever to me."

I said nothing, just focused on pushing down the emotions threatening to rise up and spill over. Ste eyed me carefully, "Cadence. Why do you never cry? Even at things that would make the hardest of hearts crack you…you shut down."

"Shutting down beats opening up to somebody who is betraying you by living with your ex fiancé and his whore of a girlfriend."

"For fucks sake, Cad, I'm not betraying you! I lived with Drew and then she came along. They fell in love and she moved in! Her fucking dogs are all over the place, wreaking havoc in revenge for the outfits she puts them in, all she does is lay around and play ps3 because she thinks it makes her the ideal woman and she burns toast! SHE BURNS FUCKING TOAST, CADENCE. AND SHE CRIES IF WE TALK ABOUT WANTING A BACON FUCKING SANDWICH, SO YOU TELL ME EXACTLY HOW SHE IS YOU?"

"She does all of that?" I asked, ignoring the fact he had yelled down my ear.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Yes Cadence. She does all that."

We sat in silence for around twenty minutes, unmoving and, even post confrontation, comfortable.

"Ste?" I was the first to speak. This was unusual for our post confrontation conversations.

He cleared his throat slightly, "Caddy?"

"This hurts."

He said nothing, just pulled me closer to him and tightened his hold on me. His lips brushed my temple, as they often did to reassure me, and he held me as I said nothing but slowly unravelled.

* * *

I awoke the next morning in the same position; held close to Ste who was mercifully not snoring. I reached out for my Blackberry, and typed out a quote from memory. I hit post and rolled my stinging eyes around in their sockets to adjust to being open.

**Cadon: "**Don't look back Ashley, don't look back. It'll drag at your heart until you can't do anything but look back." -Scarlett O'Hara.

I settled back down into Ste's arms as my Blackberry vibrated with a text. I frowned, but opened the message anyway.

**Drew (10:43): "**How could I help loving you — you who have all the passion for life that I lack?" -Ashley Wilkes.

**Cadence (10:45): **Don't. Just...don't.

The reply came back quicker than I had expected.

**Drew (10:46): **I sat up and listened to Bowie all night. Taryn stayed with one of her friends; we had an argument. This morning, all I could think of was the beginning of a song, round and round in my mind.

**Cadence (10:48): **Tell me the words.

**Drew (10:51): **Once we were lovers, can they understand? Closer than others, I was your, I was your man. Don't talk of heart-aches, oww, I remember them all. When I'm checking you out one day to see if I'm faking it all…


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm on a roll! I'm aware you aren't getting the alert through, but if I tweet this, please please review! I love reading them so much, they make me very happy!**

**Drew's point of view. A Ste spin off shall be coming soon.**

**So much love,  
Not Billy Idol (even though I don't mind him replacing me, but Trash does.)**

* * *

_Oh who knows just what the future holds  
all I want to know is if it's with you_

I paced up and down the hallway outside Cad's apartment. I felt ridiculous texting her from outside her own front door, but I knew that I would say nothing had I not been doing this.

The door opened suddenly and Ste stood in the doorway. He looked at me, shook his head silently and pushed me through the door.

"A visitor, m'lady." he said sardonically, his face twisted into an unreadable expression. No reply came back. "CAD! DREW'S HERE SO GET A FUCKING MOVE ON."

She hurried out, a towel wrapped around her, "I was in the shower, jesus fucking christ, you couldn't hear the running water?!"

Ste just shrugged, "I'm going to get breakfast now, leaving you two with an unavoidable conversation window. Have fun."

The door closed, and the condo was still again.

"I fucking hate him sometimes," Cadence grumbled, "Do you want a drink or something? You look like shit."

I cleared my throat, "I'm fine, thanks. Although you with clothes on would probably be better for this conversation."

She laughed and disappeared for ten minutes, eventually returning in a blue dress that did things to her. I'd wager she only looks minorly better naked than she does wearing blue. She knows I love her in it.

"What?" she smiled innocently before I could speak, "You said clothes."

"Caddy," I took a step towards her, "We need to talk."

"We do. In fact, I recall that you owe me many 'talks' that never materialised, but que sera sera." her smile widened, "You need to talk, Drew. I need to hear it."

My phone rang.

"Ignore it."

_Ring ring_

Cadence stepped towards me, "Ignore it!"

_Ring ring_

"It's Taryn," I explained, "I have to take it."

Cadence shook her head at me, "No you don't."

I answered.

* * *

"…and honestly Drew, what were you even _do_ing there? She's a whore!"

"She's not a whore. We had some things to sort out." I defended. Taryn was wearing my patience a little too thin.

"So you've said! But you haven't even _told _me what they were!"

"That's because it's none of your fucking business, Taryn. Drew, what the fuck are you doing out of that condo?" Ste, of course. Of course she'd send him out to make me feel bad. "Don't look all angry, Drew, I'm on my way back from breakfast."

I relaxed my face, "Look, tell Cadence that I'll call her later to sort things out."

"I'll tell _Caddy _that you'll be coming round later for dinner." he emphasised her nickname to highlight my lack of using it. Thanks for that.

Taryn's eyes widened, "No he won't!"

"Don't push me on this. Last night made me realise a lot about the person we both call a best friend and have done for years now. I realised just how hard every day is for her." Ste looked at Taryn, "Go and spend some of Drew's money, I need to talk to him."

She shot him a death glare, but took my card and stomped off. Ste and I continued to walk down the road.

"Every day is a fucking battle for her. Without you, us, or whoever she needs in her life who have been over here. This is your chance to be back in her life, Drew. It can be like it was before we moved out here, we can have the same sort of actual happiness that we used to possess, back. Drew, look, I'm not asking you to go out with her again, to love her again. I'm telling you to stop being such a cowardly twat and get back in her life. She misses us more than anything…but I'd be a fool to not see that she misses you more than me."

I looked at him, "She still has no idea you're in love with her, does she?"

"None at all."

"Good." We crossed the road to where his car was parked, "Keep it that way."

* * *

My BlackBerry flashed a new tweet on screen from Cadence as I was moving half of a new wardrobe of clothes into Taryn and I's bedroom.

**Cadon: "**I'm your future, I'm tomorrow, I'm the end." -David Bowie, 'Telling Lies.'

**SOS: **On the road again soon with the newest signing Cadence. Hopefully she'll start on RAW…

**WWEDivaTiffany _SOS: **Only talented people start on raw. She hasn't had any training so hahah, good luck.

**Cadon _WWEDivaTiffany: **That explains a lot about your current role then, doesn't it?

**Cadon _WWEDivaTiffany: **As for the training; an argument between us is like a maths competiton between a genius and a retard.

Before I could respond and try to pacify the situation, an article was emailed to me by Ste.

**From: Ste  
Subject: That's our girl…**

_This just got posted on PWI. She hasn't even wrestled yet and she's already headline news. This is brilliant hahah…_

**New Diva signing on Twitter (Update!)  
**Soon to debut Diva Cadence O'Neill is currently engaged in a twitter feud with Tiffany. It's not really clear how the feud started or even why it started, but company insiders are quick to mention the relationship between Tiffany and Cadence's ex, Drew McIntyre. O'Neill met McIntyre back in late 2003, when she was 16 and he was 18, and they reportedly remained a couple for nearly four years. Relations between the two currently are said to be tight at best.

_Get to Cad's for half 7.  
Ste_


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm on a train, and apparently I'm at Stoke on Trent's station right now. No, I will not move my belongings so you can sit with your inbred family. You should've got on earlier, these two seats are mine.  
****There are seats further on down the train, so keep moving. **

******There's some idiot behind me talking shit about classic literature as well, saying nobody in their class understands it. Your Mother shouldn't have procreated with her brother then, should she? Grouchy grouch grouch.**

This is in Cadence's POV.

******Charlie x**

-

_These words won't help you  
If you're looking for answers_

"The apartment smells good." Ste said as he walked out of the guest bedroom, "What are you making?"

"Beef bourginon." I opened the oven door to check on it, "Do you want bread to go with it?"

He looked at me, "What do you think? Whatever you're making, double it."

I ignored him, "Are you moving out of the vegan household? Come to the dark side."

"I've lived with you before, you're a pain in the arse."

"My feelings are _so _hurt, love."

He laughed, "Make me a sandwich. Please."

"No, you cretin, wait until dinner." I smiled slyly, "Although you could eat the chicken salad I made you that's on the table."

"Legend. I love you."

-

**Cadon: **Homemade din dins soon, waiting for my guest of questionable honour to arrive…

I sat quietly in front of my vanity table, inspecting my face from every angle. My make up lay in front of me, untouched. My hair had long been twisted into a chignon, my dress laid out on the bed for hours. I couldn't move any longer, I couldn't face tonight. All I had wanted was answers, but now all I wanted to avoid was answers. With answers, he would soon be away from me again, no reason to talk to me or even to look at me.

Robotically, I applied my make up, something I usually enjoyed but now was only doing to paint myself a mask that I could hide behind. A knocking sound resounded through the condo, and I hastily finished applying my eyeshadow. I heard Ste answer the door, and lead Drew into the lounge. They talked a mile a minute as they used to, and I smiled. I'd forgotten that they were friends before I was around, that they were essentially best friends and had been for years. I inhaled as I stood behind my closed bedroom door and rested my forehead on it. With another deep breath, I opened the door and walked to the lounge.

"Hey."

They both stopped talking as they turned to look at me, Drew speaking first, "You look beautiful."

I smiled but said nothing, simply stepped closer to Ste who slipped his arm around my waist to steady me, "Are you okay, Cad?"

"I'm fine." My voice came out no louder than a whisper. They both nodded, and moved back to the lounge whilst I busied myself in the kitchen.

Around ten minutes and three shots of Jack Daniels later, I called them both to the table. Déjà vu hit me like an oncoming train, memories of happier times flashing before my eyes. I squoze them shut and sat down quickly, passing Ste the serving spoon so I didn't have to speak.

Drew cleared his throat, "Are you ready to talk?"

_No. _"If not now, then I suppose we never will." I avoided looking at him, "I'm just a bit…scared, you know?"

"Why?" he asked, reaching across the table and gently pulling my head up, "Cad. Why are you scared? I want to talk so then we can get back to some semblance of normal, so our relationship will be good again. I want you in my life."

"It's not that. It used to be, but not anymore. I'm scared that once you get your answers and everything is resolved then you'll have no reason not to fully commit to Taryn. As long as we avoid resolving things then there's always going to be a part of me in you and you won't be able to justify that level of commitment."

He dropped his fork to his plate with a clatter, "You're scared that…that I'll marry her?"

I nodded, "You will do. One day, you'll get engaged. You're happy, I can see that, and the selfless side of me loves that you're happy but…" I exhaled, "Drew we both know that I'm 98% selfish. A whole two percent of me likes that you're happy, and I can't live as 2% of myself."

"I'm not happy." he looked straight at me, "Most of the time, it's good. She just doesn't know when to stop, doesn't know where the line is, especially when we're on the road."

"Avatar," I smiled grimly, "Right. I personally prefer pussy whipped moron, but que sera sera."

"Cad." he half laughed, "Please."

I looked at Ste who was eating his dinner with an amused smile on his face, "Nobody in the world knows you like us two do, Drew. So how about we drop the shit? Sound good? Because if we're really going to sort this out then we need to."

"Personally, I think you're both stupid." We both now turned to look at Ste, who had decided now was a perfect time to interject his opinion. "Cad, you love Drew but you can't forgive him for leaving and you can't forgive him for Taryn. Drew, you love Cad but you can't forgive her for her actions whilst you were away."

"I think, if you don't mind, I'm just going to ignore you saying that." I looked back at Drew, "Look. I'm going to be on the road from the next PPV, whether you like it or not. I don't know what show they're putting me on, all I know is that I'll be on the road. With you."

His gaze hardened as he pushed his chair back from the table, "Thanks for dinner. It was great as usual, I'll see myself out and please, for God's sake Cadence, stay away from me and Taryn."

He was gone before I could ask why.


	7. Chapter 7

**It's been a while...sorry about that. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.**

**I'll try to update this as much as possible from now on. **

**Chesca and Jem, this is for you. Thank you for all the love.**

**Charlie.**

**

* * *

**

_It must have been hard just to follow your soul_

_To stick to the road that your heart wants you to go_

**Cadon: **First day at the "office"! On the road to RAW now, be nice to me!

My debut had been abruptly changed from Smackdown to RAW the day after the fiasco at dinner. I suspected it had everything to do with Ste and his desire for me to start out on the right foot with the company. At present, I had been lauded as an intelligent yet temperamental signing who had the abilities to raise the women's division back to what it was remembered as.

"I suppose this is where you annoy me to the point where I confess I got you moved to Smackdown, right?"

I looked at Ste as he drove us both to the airport, "I didn't even have to annoy you."

He smiled, "I knew that you knew, grà, so why would I hide it?"

"You hide lots of things that I already know about," I paused as I chewed a mouthful of snickers, "Like who you lived with."

"But that's irrelevant now, since I moved in with you _that_ night."

After Drew had left, all semblance of normality left me. Ste was gone for no longer than an hour, saying he had to 'pick up a few things'. In reality, I knew his belongings had been packed for weeks, just waiting for me to need him.

We drove in silence for a few miles, comfortable as always. I pondered the situation as the car covered the miles, watched as Ste did the same.

"I always loved you more, you know." I broke the silence, "I guess it was because I knew you'd never leave me. I'm sorry I'm so selfish."

Ste looked at me, surprised, "You're not selfish, you just don't like feeling abandoned, which is pretty reasonable. Cad…I know that you love me, and you know I love you too."

"I know." I smiled, "You're the best friend I could ever ask for."

He laughed a little to himself as he took the slip road off to the airport, "That's all I'll ever be to you."

* * *

**Cadon: **Had a great journey to Indy! En route to RAW now, time to meet the crew!

Michelle was the first to greet me, as I knew she would be. The self appointed leader of the lockerroom wanted to make a better impression on me than she'd had on most, which I understood. I felt the same; being known for your temper before you ever make it into the lockerroom is hardly the best.

We bonded quickly over my leather Temperley jacket and she introduced me to the other girls, who were generally nice and polite aside from the twins. I understood that; as Taryn's best friends, I wasn't expecting much. Nattie and I exchanged a nod of recognition; we were hardly old friends but we'd worked together a couple of times previously and she'd been at Kat's the few times I'd been over to visit.

I left my bag next to Nattie's and wandered off to catering to find Ste. When I arrived, he was sat at a huge table full of essentially the who's who of the roster. He cleared his throat when I tapped him on the shoulder, pretty sheepishly for me.

"Guys, this is Cadence. Feel free to call her Cad, fuck knows if you call her Cadence she'll be weirded out because her Mother doesn't even call her that. Some of you have either met her or know her previously from indie shows, and whatever you do…don't bring up avatar."

I smiled, "Bring him up all you want, I'll just squash him right back down."

Randy looked up at me, "It must suck though, with him being married now and all."

My head swam, and I felt Ste reach out and grab my shoulder, slowly pulling me down into his lap.

"Shit I'm sorry," Randy backtracked, "You didn't know?"

I ignored him, just looked up at Ste desperately, "You kept this from me?"

"What was I supposed to do, Cad? Tell you? I've only known for a week, and they got married in secret…his parents didn't even know." he wrapped his arms around me, "Come on, let's go for a walk."

* * *

"So that's why he ran away at dinner?" I asked as we walked out of the arena aimlessly, "He actually fucking did that to me?"

"Cad…"

"No. No, don't fucking _Cad _me, Ste. He led me on, made me think there was still a place for me in his life, that he missed me and he wanted me back, and all that time he and Taryn have been engaged? Dinner? When he text me about splitting up with her? They've been married? No. I don't even…"

Ste said nothing, just carried on walking. He stopped a few feet ahead of me, and even from where I was standing, I saw the two shadows.

I arched both of my eyebrows, and stood perfectly still, "Hello Drew."

* * *

I sank back into the hotel room bath. My back was sore from my run in in Nattie's match, and my heart ached from the news I knew I never should've heard.

"Cad!" Ste shouted from the bed, "Don't drown yourself, for fucks sake."

"It's weird," I yelled back, "I feel like its not even hit me yet, you know? The man I've loved since I was 16 is married. To somebody else. And nobody told me. I just feel…" I paused, "I guess I just feel hollow, like there's nothing left inside of me."

He came and knelt by the bath, "Why did you come back Cad? Why did you accept their offer?"

"I don't…I don't know. Drew I suppose?"

He half smiled, "That's all I needed to know."

"Why?" I frowned, "What's wrong with me coming back for him?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." he shook his head, "Fuck, you're both so stupid."

I leant my head on his shoulder, "I know. Ste, why did he show up today?"

"To apologise to you? I don't know Cad…I'm not your fucking oracle."

I frowned, "Look, Ste…is there something you want to say to me?"

"Cadence," he pinched the bridge of his nose, "There's always a million things I want to say to you. Right now? You need to forget Drew. For good, and I know that you've tried and tried to get rid of him from your heart, but you need to do it properly this time. Face it; he's never going to be yours. Not anymore."

I stared at him, "You know the real reason I came here? I came here to get my life back. To get my heart back. I threw away a perfect life in London, a perfect career, but I had nothing. Sure, there were others, but nobody like you or Drew, and I was so fucking scared Ste…that you would both move on. And I was right, wasn't I? He has. He doesn't love me anymore."

"Caddy," Ste chided gently, "He loves you. You just weren't here."

"Well now I am." I stood up and reached for my towel. Ste grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the tub, wrapping the towel around me twice. "Stop trying to protect me."

"I gave up on that a long time ago." Ste's eyes haven't moved from my face and he smiles, "Just like I gave up on you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Cannot believe I've been writing this for over a year! Happy birthday (again!) to Ste, my main man. Sorry about the horrendous waiting between chapters, my life is stressful!**

**As you can see, I've been writing this chapter for the better part of two months!**

**Ste P.O.V.**

**Charlie x**

* * *

_So for once in my life let me get what I want  
Lord knows it would be the first time  
Lord knows it would be the first time _

"What?" Neither of us move, our eyes staying locked, "Ste, you've never given up on me."I sighed, "I have. Every single day, I give up on yeh. The second that yeh look at me, talk to me…I know it was a mistake to ever give up."

"I love you." she sank into my chest, her muffled sobs quieting as my arms came around her, "I'm sorry I do this to you."

"Yeh don't do it on purpose Caddy," I kissed her hair, "Yeh never have."

She surfaced from my chest, roughly wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "Thank you…for everything."

_BANG  
_

"_CADENCE!"_

_BANG_

"_CAD, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR, I'M BEGGING YOU!"_

_BANG_

Her face went impossibly white as she stared up at me, frozen. "What do I do?"

I looked at her, my hands gripping her shoulders, dwarfing them, "Yeh do what yeh always do."

She skittered from the bathroom with the pace of a ball rolling down the lane to knock over pins, fumbling with the main door before she finally got it to open. Drew hurried in, furious hands raking through his hair in the same way Caddy did. She sat down with him on the bed, towel unravelling as I emerged from the bathroom.

I left them to it.

* * *

"Mate, are you alright? Will you just bloody tell us what's happened?" Stu. Concerned about my welfare as always.

"Drew and Cad." I slurred, "Did yeh not hear?"

A younger voice attempts to calm me from my left, "We heard him banging on the door before…"

I scoffed, "That all yeh heard him banging?"

* * *

My eyes cracked open, the sunlight forcing me to quickly squeeze them shut again as I moved my arms from around my body to stretch, catching smooth skin next to me as I did.

_Please, please be Cadence._

I shielded my eyes before I opened them, and saw a glimpse of brown hair before I rolled over and groaned. She wasn't a diva, and she sure as shit wasn't Cad.

As I left for breakfast, I let the girl sleep.

* * *

When she saw me, she let out a breathe of relief that seemed to instantly fill me. Drew sat next to her, the embodiment of all that she wanted but could never have. I sat opposite her, the embodiment of everything she could have but would never want.

"You're okay." her smile finally appeared, "I was so worried about you after Stu said how out of it you were."

I said nothing, just speared the plate of pancakes that Stu had appeared with for me. Drew cleared his throat, "I'm sorry if I interrupted anything-"

"Yeh always are." I cut him off, "both sorry, and bloody interruptin'."

"I just really needed Cad. We needed to talk, and I really didn't know that you were there…I didn't know you two still spent so much time together." he continued, almost as if my outburst had never been said, "Taryn's left me."

"So when's tha weddin'?" I asked, my face expressionless, "The day after yeh divorce comes through?"

"She doesn't want me, Ste." Drew's voice was quiet, "I've hurt her too many times."

"Besides, I was right." The tone of smugness was hard to ignore in Cad's voice, "A leopard never changes its spots."

My eyebrows shot up, "Yeh cheated on Taryn too? Yeh feckin tool."

"Hang on," Stu interjected, "What do you mean he cheated on Taryn too? Who else did he cheat on?"

"Me." Cadence rolled her eyes as her accent suddenly matched Stu's, "Who else has he had a serious relationship with that went tits up?"

"Point." Stu nodded his head, "Drew, you absolute dickhead. Who cheats on Cad? I mean, that mess I understand -orange skin never really did for me, lopsided implants don't either- but Cad? Why?"

"Because I wasn't there." Cad answered, "And don't be such a dick about Taryn, if you don't like her as a person then fine, but don't question the beauty products that make her more comfortable with herself."

The three of us stared at her in shock, and she stared back, eyebrows arched. I cleared my throat, "Since when have yeh become her biggest fan?"

"I've not, I just don't think it's right, as a fellow woman, to sit and judge the way that she looks. I know what she feels like at the moment, after Drew cheated on me with half of Florida I literally thought I was the most repulsive creature to ever crawl the earth." she turned to Drew, "But it's funny, you know, because I've just realised that the most repulsive creature on this earth, Drew, is you."

She pushed back from the table whilst sliding her sunglasses on, and stalked out angrily before any of us could protest.

Stu whistled, "I did not see that one coming."

"Me either…" Drew trailed off. He looked shocked as I tried to keep my relative joy inside, "Ste, mate, I think she wants you."

I shook my head, "No it's not. She wants yeh to change…it's all she's ever wanted. I thought she'd have told yeh, or that yeh'd have bloody guessed by now."

Just like Cad, I left them both in silence.

* * *

She spoke to me before I could make my presence known, "Ste, are they still sat there? Deliberating over my change of heart?"

"Probably." I wrapped my arms around her from behind, "When are yeh meeting up with her?"

"Tonight." she didn't seem surprised that I'd guessed her plans, "She wants to warn me of something. What she thinks she can tell me that'll be news to me beats me, but she was pretty insistent. I imagine she'll be warning me against getting back with him."

"Pointless."

She turned to face me and laughed sadly, "It is, isn't it? He'll always be the one."


End file.
